It happens so often in life…relationships with family members or partners.
You love them and care for them so much that you try to take all of their pain, ideals/opinions while dealing with finding and keeping your own.
You CANNOT load more stuff into something that is already full. It will overflow and leave you with a huge mess to clean up.
“Cleaning up” doesn’t mean … “Oh! No problem…I will PRETEND it is empty and then we can begin again, doing the same thing over.”
No…sometimes “cleaning” means letting go of the responsibility you feel.
You feel strong guilt for their life state, you are dishonest with yourself because you feel that covering up the way you truly feel is a better way to make the other person stay happy…
Maybe this person doesn’t know what pressure they have put on you, maybe this person doesn’t care…maybe, you have to set up boundaries. They won’t know them until you do.
Guard YOUR truth…no matter where life takes you…don’t let it go.
How are you suppose to know what your personal truth is? All I know is that I listen to my heart…what makes me feel the most passion…what makes the most sense to me after putting myself in the most open/understanding mental space. We have all experienced this world differently…so we all see things differently but it is up to you to try question what your mind shoves at you. “Do not believe everything you think.”
We have all come to this place with the strength to face our own “demons”…we just have to find it. Would you mind fighting an extra one for someone who will not mind if you die trying? It is up to you…but do so knowing you will let go of your own hand in the midst.
Know your worth and don’t be scared to feel “selfish”. It is not that you stop caring for them, it is that you care with restrictions to keep yourself stable. So many get very comfortable taking but are not appreciative for the things they receive.
You can embrace that little moment but before taking it further, come back and realize that you must forgive others and yourself for being the imperfect humans we were made. Take the relationship for what it is or was…and continue to focus on what you need to do to be the most peaceful, loving and honest you.
Forgive slight profanity or the unorganized structure of this piece…I have experienced yet another “Ah ha!” moment in life and as such, my mind is moving quicker than I can type. I grow each day…weeding out what things I am meant to keep or throw away. Who knows what defines one way of living “right” but I try to calm my mind by dreaming of the day I will have all of life’s mysteries unraveled in front of me. Or…maybe, I just need to take it less seriously? *Sigh!